| I just know he's going to love this pet for his birthday! |
Sitting in the library, considering
my story Vermillion Beach, a man with
huge nostrils came walking past. Sometimes when people get old, their
ears and nose continue growing and don’t stop, even well past the length
considered normal. But this guy was a kid, perhaps about twenty. Everything
else seemed pretty average, everything but his nostrils. They were large enough
that in a torrential rain storm, his girlfriend could stay dry by simply
snuggling up against him.
Then I
looked up on the Internet why people have big noses, because we all know the
Internet is full of fun facts. According to one
article, there were over 250,000 nose jobs performed in 2010 alone. People
will actually turn down a date with someone who is smart
and generous because of his honker. Of course, that’s before they see the
size of his, uh, wallet.
What in the
world happened to Bigger is Better? I suppose the conversation varies depending
on the subject. I mean, I wouldn’t think a bigger stomach is better, but then
some people are partial to that—enjoying being fat even.
What’s
really odd is when someone has something large, that’s supposed to be great
when it’s really large, but it isn’t. Too anything is too much.
So many people have surgeries to change how they appear just to feel better
about themselves. Why not invest
the money into education? When you get older, a better paying career can
pay for all the touchups you could possibly want.
If someone
asked me what I would do to my body given the chance, I wouldn’t dump loads of
money into surgery. Oh no, I’d do something tried and true, like how I’ve been
working out. (Pssst—I’m slowly losing
the weight at 181 now.) That’s the best thing I can do for myself, plus
getting in shape does wonders for my health and perks up the brain stimulus
too. BUT if I were going to have a physical change to my body, I finally found
it. (I’d
be the only one in my neighborhood.)
Oh, so the
guy in the library with big nostrils? I found out how he got them so big, and
he has no tissues. I’m not sitting at that table, ever!
