The Write Woman Writes to the Bone (101 Days Left)

Okay, just over 100 days to go until I have my bachelors degree! Then the world will be at my fingertips, or is it I will have the world at my fingertips? I suppose it depends on how you look at it. In reality, I’m hanging onto reality by my fingertips! Do I really need a degree?

See, I’ve run into a little tiny glitch. Appears as if employers require one to post their work history for the last five years, meaning that anything before that is not considered. The only jobs I’ve had in the past five years is my temporary job at the photography studio during Christmas and my substitute teaching position which recently ended since school has released, meaning five months of work. I suppose I could stand at the corner of Walmart with a sign that says, “Give me money!” I saw someone there a couple of weeks ago, pulling a sign, a lawn chair, and a blanket from a new van, and make her way to the curb. I’m sure she has skills. Someone had to make the sign.

The hardest part of unemployment is teaching your kids that hard work pays off. All they see is me pounding away on my keyboard day after day, either completing my online school work, searching for employment, or on occasion I take a break and play a silly game. Of course, it never fails that this is the time they wander by to look. My encouragement is usually limited to, "Hit the ball up to the left and you'll get all of them!"

I’m currently working on four short scripts for ABC’s Talent Showcase. The first is called “Uburro,” a quick and pleasant stab at the Uber taxi service through a brain dead driver who should, through all counts of sensibility, be dead. I called Uber, since I have tons of driving experience, to find out the qualifications and they agree to pay $20/hour, but the driver pays for insurance, car upkeep, and fuel, and Uber's 20% commission, which means by the time it’s all said and done, you’re damned lucky to make minimum wage. You're lucky if your driver doesn't rob you! Meanwhile who the hell knows who you’ll be taking around and what they’ll be doing to the inside of your car? They could be cutting your seats up for all you know, even if you’re nice. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I’d want to do is clean up vomit from my car, or what if they simply won't pay? I wrote about a driver who would take such a position. But as long as you make imperfections work for you, there's no stopping an indefatigable person.

The second story I wrote consists of a young woman leaving a late night convenience store and she leaves her windows down. She’ll just be a second, right? When she returns, her uninvited guest convinces her down a secluded street where he has his way with her—nope, didn’t happen! She has her way with him, but he’s not very happy afterward. Then again, nobody can really be too surprised when things don’t go their way. Oh, but I am pretty surprised—EVERY time.

The third story is about two guys surviving a plane crash on a life boat… for a while. Despite the drama-sounding premise, they are all comedies. I am still brewing up the fourth one. They each contain two-person, equally divided dialogue, which is the basis of the contest. But I haven’t got my fourth one. If you have any ideas to throw my way, feel free! The comedy portion of this isn’t the movies at all, but the fact that I grew up on Stephen King and Anne Rice, and have done a 180 degree turn to dystopian sci-fi works such as Divergent and The Hunger Games.

Wow, now if I could locate a company who hires dependent on script creation, I’d have no problem finding a job!  Ah, it can’t be too hard with two kids who are now out of school, can it? I guess we’ll see. In the meantime, the pizza I created for lunch today practically needs a chainsaw to get through it. My daughter's been complaining about her loose teeth. If all else fails, perhaps I can hold the Tooth Fairy hostage when she swings by. A little unorthodox, but at this point, I'll just do whatever works.

The Write Woman on a Limb (109 Days to Graduate)

Each script is 120 pages long

The problem with me is that I'm too old to be picky about which career I indulge in. I should be content with a customer service position until I get my degree, right? Why don't I feel like that? I've applied for numerous positions in the past few weeks, but when they call and describe the position, I just can't force myself to go to the interview. There's always something wrong with the job. And although I could take the job, because it's only for a little while, my heart wouldn't be in it. I wouldn't produce even par work, which isn't fair to the employer. Where does that leave me? This is totally stupid, and I know it is, but it's the only resolution I can bear -- I need to complete the screenplay of Vermill!on Beach and get it out there! What does this mean? This means that in addition to teaching public school, schooling Cameron in home studies, attending his soccer games, assuring Nikki's doing well with her classes, and achieving aced grades in my own schooling, I need to complete the final 100 pages of my screenplay within two days. Impossible? Probably, but I've got my outline to simplify the process. That would be to enter it in two different contests, Script Pipeline is quickly approaching, and Final Draft's Big Break Contest is right around the proverbial corner.

The game yesterday for my son's soccer team? What a mess! Okay, so I'm poor. I had four pieces of paper to print on. Cameron's father called one hour before his game and asked me to print off the contract for the new soccer league because he can't work his computer. I stopped my school work, got on the computer, filled out nearly 14 pages of crap to print off three sheets, praying I wouldn't mess them up. They printed, without the blanks filled in. I had to hand

Xtreme play - My son's the goalie in the gray shirt

write all the insurance information, emergency contacts, father's address as well as our information. It was pouring rain, we were already half an hour late, and I couldn't find my car keys. "We're going to have to walk!" I explained to Nikki. She opened the front door and was horrified to see rain pouring down. "We've got to get this to them today." She asked if I looked in my purse. Of course I had. We both toured the tiny apartment, peeking into places they never would be, until she said, "Here they are!" They were crammed into the wrong pocket of my purse. I was thankful, but livid, took a deep breath and headed out. Thank goodness we had our umbrellas. Mine is old and tattered, turning inside-out every time the wind blew. Cam's dad walks from beneath the canopy to me. "Hey, don't know if you realized it or not, but your pants are wet." I looked down and they were soaked to the skin. He suggested I climb beneath the canopy, but no I'm too damned tough for that sissy crap! Guess he deserves kudos for making nice. The boys played hard, giving the other team a run for the money and losing by one point. Way to go, Xtreme! Being a soccer mom is pretty fun after all.

Hope there's something soft below!

I'm also figuring out creative things to do with food, such as mixing things together that sound disgusting, but taste good. Okay, most of them are disgusting! But once in a while, I hit on something that isn't so bad when I close my eyes and use my imagination. The hard part is convincing my kids the food is yummy. I thought about having a website where poor people can learn to make odd things from everyday items, but without having meat in the house, my following wouldn't be very good. Our main ingredient is potatoes, although anyone who knows me can't be surprised. Potatoes are versatile vegetables and go way beyond the plate on the table. And while I suppose eating potatoes is healthy, but if I'm not careful I may be eating the bark from the limb I'm dangling from.

The Write Woman Leaves General Hospital (115 days left to sweat)

"I just can't take it anymore!"

My more recent class came the closest to causing an ulcer. Lack of sleep, no appetite, and working, rather than working out, has taken its toll. (Sounds like a dog that should be checked for worms, right?) But General Hospital from Hades passed me with a B+. Not as great as I would normally expect, but with the class’s division into two months the students will learn even more than we were able. Stinks for us, but yeah for them. The information from that class was irreplaceable. Thank goodness the General left his “door open” for more inquiries. Although I cannot see how that is possible with so much on his plate. Regardless, kudos to General Hospital. I hope to hell I have no more graded classes with The General.

Vermill!on Beach has been sitting on the back burner for too long. My intention was to finish it before the middle of June but, along with my weight loss, has been neglected. I also applied for several internships, one in Hollywood, California for creating commercials. I had to include my school transcripts in that one, indicating they mean business. I figured with my 3.7 average, my portfolio, etc. I’d be a shoo-in. As my parents so keenly pointed out, “that’s what I get for thinking.” Someone who lived nearby, perhaps with a higher GPA and more life ahead of him got the drop. But as my Facebook friend, Jheri pointed out (hope she doesn’t mind me using her first name), “everything happens for a reason.” Suppose I have to just trust her on this one, right? Besides, when Donald Trump searches for an intern, if I wasn’t available, what would he do? It simply wouldn't do to have him settle for someone who'd give him less coverage.

"Hairdresser, you're FIRED!"

The class I’m in now has the class writing comic scripts. Not for shows, that was the last class – if someone had chosen to create a half-hour sitcom. (I was stupid enough not to be funny, therefore giving me a thumbs-up for a one-hour drama. As if that weren’t enough, because of having no television for four years, I had no idea I was choosing the longest freaking show!) This class has us creating comic scripts as in comic book scenarios. I’m not sure if we’ll be using the Toon Boom Storyboard Pro we were given or not. We haven’t used it yet, however I doubt it. Today I will go to the library and find three titles to books (I think the length is 64 pages, or something like that) to run past him. It’s important to be first, so I can get the titles I want, as it’s first come, first take it out from under everyone’s nose. He’s enticing the killer instinct necessary to survive, as if General Hospital didn’t do that.

Meanwhile, I was blindsided by a terrific movie idea. I haven’t got the title yet. I’m still working on Vermill!on Beach, but the synopsis is a woman goes in for a routine exam, is told she should be on an antidepressant (familiar, I know) and ends up losing her memory. Her sister, who begrudges her for the stable life she’s had, steals her identity, her life, etc. by rescuing her from the hospital and keeping her in a cabin to “help her get better.” In addition to this, she convinces the frustrated husband who left her sister, that her sister ran away. She then cuddles up to the man and his daughter. The patient, although at a clear disadvantage, must first figure out all that’s happened and then try to patch her memory along with her life. What do you think? Okay, okay, it’s no cartoon! Better refocus on 2D characters with depth.

The Write Woman says, “Why do actors take pathetic roles?” (124 Days Remaining)

Whew! I don’t know if I’ll be retaking my last class or not, hopefully not, but it was damned hard. These past few days I was unable to eat, got a cold sore the size of a golf ball, had a huge and unrelenting headache for nearly three days, and couldn’t sleep for the life of me. Finally, I got my last assignment turned in yesterday. Depending on how it went, will also determine if I will need to retake the class. I don’t think my body will handle it, if I do.

The flip side is, I learned more from this class than I have ever learned from anything I’ve studied. Now I’m not talking about the lesson; I’m talking about searching into the depths of myself to discover just how badly I want this degree. I never would have suspected the drive existed to do as much work as I did for this class. But, I’m crossing my fingers I don’t have to do it again.

Strung out as thin as I am, I can’t find the time to do the things to create a future for myself, but perhaps that’s because I haven’t quite learned all of the elements. For example, I believe I’ve started Vermill!on Beach about five times now. Since this class, I’ve learned so much more about writing, I will rework the process yet again. This, unfortunately, means my chances are slim in completing the process by the June due date. But fortunately, I won’t have completed the screenplay (incorrectly) and paid the money in eager anticipation of nothing. That would have been much worse.

Speaking of “worse,” here’s one for you. Because I’m a Ryan Reynolds fan, I saw the unusual film The Voices. The only thing it had going for it besides Ryan Reynolds, was that the film was different. The plot sucked old eggs that hadn’t been refrigerated and were dipped in vinegar. Even the artistic shots were crappy, but the one good thing about the movie is there is one released that is just as big a let down.

The Double starring Jesse Eisenberg takes a great actor and utilizes his speaking ability (obviously the role was created with him in mind) of quick and concise to appear as a lunatic. From the beginning the plot was extremely clear, despite their Shell Game antics. The camera shots were just as ridiculous as The Voices in that they were evidently created to add depth to a mud puddle. The difference between this movie and the formerly mentioned one was the other one was trying like hell to poke your ribs for a giggle. Unfortunately, it was just extremely irritating, like the person who gets your phone number from a friend and calls five times a day to leave pointless messages. The Double starts off like a newer version of Joe Versus the Volcano, with drab office colors and half dead workers. The man who plays his boss, Wallace Shawn, was the same guy who played the irritating boss of The Incredibles. In fact, it’s almost as if some giant pinchers picked him up by the seat of his pants and transplanted him into this film. DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY when you can hear other people prattle on about their wasted time and money, while saving yours.

One more class down and six to go! (Of course, the book required for my Monday class got “lost in the mail.” Thank you, FedEx!) Wish me luck. In the meantime, I’m afraid of graduating. I mean, what in the hell am I going to do when I have time to myself?