The Write Woman Couldn't Hit the Ground if she Died Today! (18 Days Left!)

With a pressing schedule of final projects, I get to add in the esteemed position of a single mom, and looking for satisfactory employment. All said, I do what it takes to save time in my other daily tasks. My new method should have a meal from mind to mouth in less than 1/2 an hour!

For lunch, I decided to make our customary Friday night pizza as a time saver. I lined the mixing bowl for the dough with foil for easy cleanup. Poured the pineapple into a baggie so I could easily drain the juice, and got all the other ingredients lined up across the table.

When the dough was mixed, I removed the foil from the bowl, knocking the glass dish off the table. The dough peeled away from the oil-lined foil with ease, but the cleanup of a broken bowl, added on a bit of time. The sauce went on smoothly, as did the ham, but not so lucky with the pineapple.

I decided to drain the juice by drinking it from the baggie like a Bo-ta bag, leaving the fruit easily transferable to the pizza. Somehow the opening closed up when I tilted it to drain the sweet juice into my mouth. I tilted it higher. In a gush, all the juice came flooding out of the sack down my face, in my hair, all over my clothes, and all over the floor.

I cleaned up the floor with Clorox spray to remove the stickiness, and realized I was behind my half an hour schedule. I quickly moved to throw the paper towels away when my hand got caught in the lid of the garbage like a giant Cookie Monster recovering from a diet. The cheese needed to be sprinkled on still, and I was falling way behind! I almost forgot to wash my hands.

The soap pump at the side of the sink wasn't working. I picked it up by the nozzle to bring it closer, and the damn thing came off. The bottle missed me on its way to the floor, but spilled a beautiful blue gloss across the tiles. Perfect!

With clean hands, I put the pizza in the oven for 15 minutes and raced to the restroom for a quick shower.

I was dressing when the timer went off in the kitchen. The house was filled with smoke and my daughter, playing video games says, “Wow, what are you making? I don’t want any!”

Instead of setting the temperature for 375* I set it for 450*. What came out was not a pizza. Instead I wound up with an extra-crispy hubcap, without its three siblings. I tiptoed over the blue ocean coating the floor to throw the pizza away outside, and came back in to clean up the blue detergent.

It’s been an hour and I’m building up the courage to put this behind me. Wish me luck on my studies… screw the food!

* Update -- Apple is sending me a box to ship my computer back for repairs. It should take 3 - 5 days to get it back. OMG! Guess it's better to scrunch the work in than having to retake the classes and set my graduation back, huh? "Calgon, take me away, damn it!"