Thursday, July 30, 2015

The Write Woman sees an Acorn, but Hits a HUGE Ice Cap (35 Days to Go)





You know when you fight to get out of bed, because you have things to do, and dress in the dark? Later that day, you realize your underwear are inside out and need to change them in a public bathroom stall. I had a day like that—but worse. Sort of like that Scrat from Ice Age that cannot get the acorn no matter what he does.

As my son and I left Ant-Man the other day, a fantastic movie, I ran into a kiosk with a jolly young fellow named David who had a help-wanted sign prominently displayed on his cart of weightloss product. He was seeking a sales consultant to work part of his shift, because he was a one-man show. The product was great, but the only way to describe his technique was—inexplicably bad? He spoke way too much, flirted with women passing by (who were far from needing the product), mentioned negative features of the food court he was stationed next to, and committed a bounty of other faux paus, such as video taping without a signed release form. I mentioned these to him as observations and gave him a few quick pointers. Then the thought hit me! I’ve worked for the big names in sales—the guys who sell sales—men like Robert Kiyosaki, Jack Canfield, and others. This would be a piece of cake—without the fattening frosting—using my skills and techniques to boost the sales of this company that only had one sale within two weeks. Everyone would win, right? Yeah, right.

When asked to return, I dressed in business attire, packed up my computer so I could show him how I could create the video he suggested, how I can conduct meetings (because I do all the time), how I’m a whiz at creating brochures, etc. and my ability to utilize numerous extensive programs. Then I spent over 2 hours explaining that getting the product into the potential customers’ hands is key. I spoke of positive reinforcement, and when to listen instead of speaking. I suggested he give my information to the head CEO of the company in order to save their dying business—honestly. He smiled and then blew my mind. He invited me to work for him, 100% commission, at a mall kiosk. I chuckled and told him I would work with his sales team in training them, get an advertising scheme together, and could practically guarantee a huge productive increase if the owner contacted me, but I would not work under his supervision.

When I got home, my FB notified me that the sales rep had looked me up and wanted to be friends.  I had just spent two hours letting some guy build up the nerve to hit on me.

So at the end of the day, the ever-elusive acorn was much bigger than it seemed. I didn’t need to fix my underwear, after all—my T-shirt was on inside out after spending over two hours ironing it, so to speak. Have you ever experienced this tragedy? I could say my time would have been better spent at home watching Ice Age, but I learned a valuable lesson. Be cautious to whom I donate my time.

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