The Write Woman Can’t Juggle with 177 Days Remaining

Redbox can be the call to glory when you get a text message for a freebie. What an advertising gimmick! Cameron and I decided to get the freebie movie and have an intermission in our studious day, but the first time I let him choose the show. We saw Live. Die. Repeat./Edge of Tomorrow with Tom Cruise and Emily Blunt. And this role for her is much different than The Devil Wears Prada or Gulliver's Travels. My only regret is that we didn’t see her and Tom Cruise sooner in the engulfing Transformers meets Groundhog's Day film. Don’t get me wrong, this show isn’t a knock your socks off flick, but with the others combatting it at the theaters, it would show a lot better on a big screen. (Which is one of the reasons I want a miniature theater in our house when we’re situated. Is that a tax write-off for screenwriters?)

Since I forgot to enter the code, my card was charged and I still had the credit, which had to be used the same day. So I when I saw Channing Tatum’s name on a credit listing of a movie, I had to grab it quick. Besides, he’s a versatile and incredible actor. Look at the roles he’s played in from 21 and 22 Jump Street to GI Joe – one would tend to think Versatility is his middle name. I don’t think that anymore.  But then Steve Carell did a fabulous job in Date Night and loads of other comedies, such as the character in the children’s show Despicable Me (I didn’t like him as the antagonist in Dinner with the Schmucks, because I’d always had him in my head as a good guy, not an obtrusive pain in the ass.) Then again, the first time I saw him was in the television program The Office. Finding a replacement would be hard pressed, as they proved later.

When an actor goes out on a limb to spread their wings a bit, flipping to the opposite type of character, such as Ashton Kutcher in The Butterfly Effect, usually can’t be pulled off as well. In this example, though, Ashton did an amazing job. And then there’s Saturday Night Live’s Adam Sandler. He isn’t dry, he’s just stupid. Every role he plays he is the exact same predictable character—the friend you don’t want to be seen with in public. But to his credit, when he stepped outside his professional box of “comedy” to play the role of a devastated dentist whose family died in the 9/11 tragedy in Reign Over Me, opposite Don Cheadle, magic happened. I don’t understand why Sandler doesn’t focus on serious roles instead of that patty-cake-baby-made-a-poo-poo comedy he insists on.

Now that I’ve thrown my gratuitous opinion out there, allow me to get back to my original comment about our movies yesterday. The free movie I chose (thank God it was free) was Foxcatcher with Mark Schultz (played by Channing Tatum), a wrestler being fronted by an eccentric momma’s boy (Steve Carell). (Mark Ruffalo was in this film too, but he is a bit more flexible and never really coined as comedian.) While both Channing and Steve did fairly good jobs in widening their scope of acting, I felt as if my face had been slapped hard several times. Channing was someone I ranked up with Leonardo DiCaprio in his acting ability, and even though Leo did a great job of a mentally impaired kid in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, that movie was his starting point. Moving backwards from Titanic or the more recent Shutter Island wouldn’t have suited him, any more than Channing moving to a slow-thinking wrestler.

Steve Carell held his nose high in the air, looked like crap, and quite frankly reminded me of my ex with his attitude, in this perfectly articulatd role. While the makeup was adequate and his mannerisms were annoying, I can honestly say that after this film, his image is much more than tarnished. As one of the greatest protagonist comedians, why did he insist on messing up perfection with not making people laugh? It's a rare talent he should embrace.

Juggling is not the forte of some actors, just as it is not embedded in a lot of people. For example, I love writing and it’s one of the things I’m best at. Speaking to other people, I am quite good at sticking my foot in my mouth because I think a lot faster than I speak. This causes me to stammer and stop in the middle of a sentence to correct the beginning, etc. unless I’m aware of precisely my anticipated response before I begin. I cannot juggle. Telling a joke is funny that I try, forget the joke, because I’m one of those people who says, “This string walks into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, ‘We don’t serve strings.’ Oh, wait a minute—the string says, ‘I want a beer.’ and then the bartender says, ‘We don’t serve strings.’ And the string goes outside to sit in the ditch…”  My point being, I would never in my life try my hand at comedy. Besides, if you want funny from me, you’ll need to observe some of the stupid mistakes I’ve made such as combining exotic dancing during the night with preschool teacher during the day. Who knew I’d run into Michael’s dad at a bachelor party? Totally unplanned and hysterically funny, as long as you weren’t me.

This week in school we had to write a short script on one of the loglines we’d created from last week. Since I couldn’t choose, I took the first one and went to work. I did it in nothing flat. That isn’t to say I’m so damned smart it was easy, but I’ve been writing scripts now for quite some time, so if it wasn’t easy, I’d be stupid.

Oh yeah, I’ve also been invited by Stage 32 the opportunity to represent a screenwriting group. I’ve submitted the group as—ready for this?—The Film Scene! I know this isn’t a real shocker for most of you, but still, it isn’t as if I have enough to do already, right?

This also reminds me, for the Full Sail University students, we will have a meeting coming up to discuss the film Se7en, so buckle up tight and hold on. The specifics of time, piece and film are available in the email you should have received. If not, check the clubs site on Connect to find out the details.

Everyone else involved in movies and screenplays, consider your favorite actor and think about a time either an acting gig or some personal problem (like George Lopez getting drunk, and falling with his butt cheeks showing, in public) turned you off from the actor and spare no details.