Technology vs. Intelligence Stumps The Write Woman (344 Days)

Okay, first of all, let's get one thing straight for those who have any doubt; buying something technologically advanced doesn't make you smarter. In fact, for those familiar with Microsoft products, and Apple as well, are already aware from past experience that being the first on the block to have something new may be someone racing to the front of line of a guillotine. The best example I can give of this amazing feat is this new iPhone 6 Plus.

After driving to the nearest Apple store, forty-five minutes away, and being told by multi-color haired clown (later to be discovered as her actual hair) that I missed my appointment, but she could squeeze me in within two short hours, I left because the least she could do is show me a card trick. I took my computer to a far less crowded venue who told me about this astounding new device with a price tag of $199 and up. Even though they've only been released for a few days and the line to purchase these "gems" continues to propagate, the phones bend with hand strength. In rear pockets, with a good sized caboose, your time is limited to send the emoticon of satisfaction. My question encompasses testing products before their release. Is there one? Or is it up to the consumer to dedicate time to straighten it out?

So answer this riddle, if you dare. What is it you pay for over and over again, and then feel bad when you need to use it? I'll tell you in a minute, but keep your mind working on it 'til I do, k?

The big question of the day is does anyone else experience a bra that squeaks when you move? Every time I shoot playing basketball, I swear I hear Jiminy Cricket and friends cheering. Sort of embarrassing, you know? Not the squeaking part as much as when they cheer and I let them down by missing the shot. But like Jiminy says, "You buttered your bread, now sleep in it." My breasts have had their day in the sun, so to speak, and it's quickly approaching midnight without a can of WD-40.

I suppose there's a price to pay in being an older woman trying to blend with the younger scene--it's called technology. Starting up at a health club has me pretty nervous, I gotta admit. Learning all those new gadgets will be like learning a new job, everyone that's been there a while is going to be watching and waiting to laugh when I climb on the treadmill and can't figure out how to make it move. I can see them pointing and whispering now, with an occasional giggle because I'm the new confused kid on the block. I guess it would be too much to toilet paper their houses though, right?

Let's talk about getting something for nothing. Is there such a thing anymore besides receiving free illnesses? The air tank at Holiday Oil is getting nothing for something, but what about the high cost of insurance? You're paying money through the nose every month and praying like crazy you never have to use it.

Speaking of insurance and doctor's appointments, I don't get the paperwork. I mean, I understand it's important for them to call in reminder of appointments, or send bills to your house, plus bill the insurance companies--that all makes sense. But the stack of papers I filled out today asked three times what my address is, my birthday, phone number, etc. Don't they just put it into the computer that repopulates automatically anyway? If computers become obsolete, as we've been told, where in the world will that leave these types of companies that require repetitive documentation if they're already behind? And this office said it needed my social security number! Why? Confused, I called them up to find out. The woman who answered the phone said they don't need that information and it is unnecessary to fill that part out. Okay then, why is it on there if we don't need to fill it out? Is it just me, or is it hot in here?