The Write Woman says, “Why do actors take pathetic roles?” (124 Days Remaining)

Whew! I don’t know if I’ll be retaking my last class or not, hopefully not, but it was damned hard. These past few days I was unable to eat, got a cold sore the size of a golf ball, had a huge and unrelenting headache for nearly three days, and couldn’t sleep for the life of me. Finally, I got my last assignment turned in yesterday. Depending on how it went, will also determine if I will need to retake the class. I don’t think my body will handle it, if I do.

The flip side is, I learned more from this class than I have ever learned from anything I’ve studied. Now I’m not talking about the lesson; I’m talking about searching into the depths of myself to discover just how badly I want this degree. I never would have suspected the drive existed to do as much work as I did for this class. But, I’m crossing my fingers I don’t have to do it again.

Strung out as thin as I am, I can’t find the time to do the things to create a future for myself, but perhaps that’s because I haven’t quite learned all of the elements. For example, I believe I’ve started Vermill!on Beach about five times now. Since this class, I’ve learned so much more about writing, I will rework the process yet again. This, unfortunately, means my chances are slim in completing the process by the June due date. But fortunately, I won’t have completed the screenplay (incorrectly) and paid the money in eager anticipation of nothing. That would have been much worse.

Speaking of “worse,” here’s one for you. Because I’m a Ryan Reynolds fan, I saw the unusual film The Voices. The only thing it had going for it besides Ryan Reynolds, was that the film was different. The plot sucked old eggs that hadn’t been refrigerated and were dipped in vinegar. Even the artistic shots were crappy, but the one good thing about the movie is there is one released that is just as big a let down.

The Double starring Jesse Eisenberg takes a great actor and utilizes his speaking ability (obviously the role was created with him in mind) of quick and concise to appear as a lunatic. From the beginning the plot was extremely clear, despite their Shell Game antics. The camera shots were just as ridiculous as The Voices in that they were evidently created to add depth to a mud puddle. The difference between this movie and the formerly mentioned one was the other one was trying like hell to poke your ribs for a giggle. Unfortunately, it was just extremely irritating, like the person who gets your phone number from a friend and calls five times a day to leave pointless messages. The Double starts off like a newer version of Joe Versus the Volcano, with drab office colors and half dead workers. The man who plays his boss, Wallace Shawn, was the same guy who played the irritating boss of The Incredibles. In fact, it’s almost as if some giant pinchers picked him up by the seat of his pants and transplanted him into this film. DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MONEY when you can hear other people prattle on about their wasted time and money, while saving yours.

One more class down and six to go! (Of course, the book required for my Monday class got “lost in the mail.” Thank you, FedEx!) Wish me luck. In the meantime, I’m afraid of graduating. I mean, what in the hell am I going to do when I have time to myself?

The Write Woman Loves Spiders and Snakes (237 Days)

If you ask my kids what I’m afraid of, they’ll say I’m not afraid of anything. Not that I ever say that, just they’ve seen me get extraordinarily angry and never consider my reaction due to fear. Everyone reacts differently to fear, right?

         

Chilean Rose Tarantulas are relatively tame

   I never did have a snake, but entertained the thought for a minute or two and did have a tarantula named Pebbles. I remember writing my three biggest fears were an inability to have babies, homelessness, and amnesia. But look at me, I’ve overcome all of them. But now I can never go to haunted houses at Halloween. In my younger years I was dismissed for beating up the workers who startled me in a spook alley. I’m one of those who reacts first and pays later, regardless of who frightens me—if I get frightened at all. I no longer trust myself having a good time while I’m wetting my pants. I’m even more on edge now that I have kids. So that made me wonder what everyone is afraid of and why. Or is it simply the inability to see in the dark?

            As a writer it’s important to understand fear and what causes it. More importantly, what causes it in other people. No, I’m not planning on writing the next big blockbuster to compete with Saw. Besides with my outlook the scariest movie I could come up with is a single mother chasing bill collectors and beating them to death with a rolling pin. Sounds gruesome, right? Well, it was—I mean, it would be. But there are fears people must overcome we deal with easily on a daily basis. In my later thirties, I had a bout with agoraphobia. Try dealing with that one! I got to the point the only time I would leave my living room was to shower and use the restroom, unless I was quickly grabbing a bite and sprinting back from the kitchen. Explaining the concept of fear to others in a way they can understand takes amazing imagery capabilities. The beauty of art is relaying emotion, and the successful ones do it well.

            I heard on the radio Jennifer Anniston has a new role in a film entitled Cake She must have failed because before she knew what was happening, she was sitting on her tricycle at the bottom of the pool, refusing to let go. Eventually her brother pried her fingers off the handle bars and saved her. Now she says she cannot go anywhere near the water.

If everything were cake, wouldn't life be delightful? Not!

scene in a body of water. They had to do thirty takes to get the shot. Apparently when she was about four, she and her older brother were playing near the pool. Jennifer was on her tricycle. (Parents? Where are you?) Anyway, she did what any daredevil at the age of four would do and pretended to be Evel Knievel jumping the Snake River. She must have failed because before she knew what was happening, she was sitting on her tricycle at the bottom of the pool, refusing to let go. Eventually her brother pried her fingers off the handle bars and saved her. Now she says she cannot go anywhere near the water.

            What people should really fear is getting old. As we grow, our mentality changes as well as our physical bodies—at first for the better. Women get round breasts and men get those broad shoulders. But soon the breasts sag and the shoulders droop. Body parts switch functions without permission--my eyes are so dry they hurt while my nipples have an irreparable leak. All I can do is the curse the gods and ask why! Obviously my fears have changed.

            Will you do me, and all the other writers who read my blog, a favor by sharing your greatest fear and why. What are you afraid of?