Not being in school will suck, especially with so much more I haven't learned. When I relentlessly called my school again, I managed to soften the
unremitting ground. The consensus of whether or not I will continue my
education should be made known by Tuesday of next week. My counselor will talk to her boss to see if an exception can be made, due to my blinding
GPA. Meanwhile, I’ve contacted instructors requesting letters of
recommendation submitted to my counselor’s email. Worst-case scenario, Plan B
says there’s always Amazon to help guide me on how to complete processes. They
are the prime go-to-ers for the do-it-yourself kinda gal, and you can literally
learn to do anything through them at a fraction of the cost. You only have to
know what you don’t know, so you can learn it—you know? If you don't want to learn, join in the fun with the rest of the country being terrified as hell without recourse.
Meanwhile, I let my intelligence go to my head and took a
nosedive, moving ass in the air with my face planted firmly on my right cheek,
rug burn included. See, I am not an advocate of This has nothing to
do with living in Utah, land where the center of town sculpture of Brigham
Young stands with his back to the temple and his hand out to the bank. The
reason I don’t gamble is simple—I have nothing to gamble with except for
talents and skills. And when winning means I will get something, I’m there.
I’m using my abilities to interpret movies to educate me
on money. The Wolf of Wallstreet with
DiCaprio is an introspective film. Watching the show carefully I came to
understand that when a potential customer speaks to a sales person they aren’t
familiar with, one salesperson has the same chance as the next to make a first
impression. It’s all in the words—the first three to five minutes—delivered
determining if the sale is or is not a success. So as a salesperson that is the
window of time to gain a potential sale by having the client trust you. How do
you make someone trust you in such a short period of time? You tell them what
you have today that will change their life tomorrow and why it will make them
envied by everyone else—then shut up and listen.
Here’s some food for thought: with science jumping along in
leaps and bounds, making people believe we have the world by storm, why are we
shortening everything to acronyms? Let’s take our vocabulary for example. The
boys from the hood have been saying A’ight for a while, but I saw a white kid
say it to his friend at the library and it just wasn’t the same. And then we
have technology with our Fob Keys. What the hell is that? I’d never heard of it
until I joined the gym and got a small plastic teardrop fob key to wave in front of the
door for admittance. Once I tried entering with another client and set off some
alarm louder than Gucci department store. I was embarrassed as the girl I was
following turned to give me a look. I held up my fob, and she simply said, “You
need to swipe it.” Yeah, I pretty much figured that one out on my own. Little did I realize I have been using one for years on my car without having a clue of what it was.
So acronyms are taking over our language. Given names have always been shortened to nicknames, (such as Michelle Joy shortened to MJ) and
now our common everyday words are shortened as well. Truth be told, my original
nickname, Shellie, was only one letter shorter than my name and phonetically
the same length anyway. The question here really is when we’ve taken so much
care to name things in the first place, why does Best Friends Forever change to
BFF when the original version sounds a lot more endearing. If you had called
someone your BFF twenty years ago, you’d get flattened before having the chance
to explain. Even the names of cars are shortening; forget Excursion and the
Mach 1 Mustang when you can have the H2 and the GT. It won’t be long before our
conversations are a series of letters and numbers. What we really need is to
figure out the Morse code versions and speak in beeps. Think of all the time
that would save!
Today is Halloween and Nikki is the fox in the chicken
house. I explained that if anyone asks her what she is, she needs to sing,
“What does the Fox Say?” If they don’t get it after that, don’t waste anymore
time. That ought to drive the teacher’s crazy, right? I’m all about that!
Have a safe Halloween and remember, if I’m going to spend
$100 to have my family scared, I better be given a bonus of a heart-attack.
Otherwise it isn’t worth the money. There’s a haunted house in Utah called The Asylum where you must sign a “legal waiver” submitting yourself to their
torture. What sort of stupid gimmick is that? It’s protection for them, that’s
what. If any customer looney tunes enter and maims their employees, they’ll have your
information to find the culprit sooner. So sign an unsuspecting name such as Pee Wee Herman or Mary Poppins. No one would suspect either of them killing people.
Meanwhile, let’s see what realistic mayhem the holiday brings about this year. My
wager is a spook house.
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