The Write Woman Prepares for Anything (239 Days to Go)

          

  The holidays are awesome! People happily storming the retailers for good deals, sharing their incredible shopping techniques with their friends, and of course, making a mind-blowing purchase or two—even for the ones they originally came to fight the crowds for. But who can blame someone for picking up a few things for themselves when the deals are so hot?

            Some of my friends say that giving shouldn’t stop at the holidays. My work-out buddy, whom I’ll refer to as um, Mr. Muscle, says his New Year’s Resolution is to be a better person this year, the same as last year and the year before. That is a super resolution, right? Selfless, helpful, just the kind of guy Mr. Muscle really is, and right on the mark. But what surprises me is the people who must sit and rack their brain for their goal. If the goal is important enough to be life shifting, should you have to think about it? I wish we could make goals for others on New Year’s Eve. Wouldn’t that be outrageous?

            The first goal I would make is for Baby Huey, my upstairs neighbor, to stop it with his early morning sessions. Either he got a puppy for Christmas he plays with every morning all over the floor, or a new love interest, but I don’t believe we’re allowed pets. Once or twice a week, to keep the libido in check, I can understand revving the engine to keep it tuned up and running smooth. (Of course you’ll need to keep in mind I’ve not participated in “the activity” for six years this Valentine’s Day. Yes, my last time was the holiday of love, as well as a former divorce, but that’s another story.) But I’m not bitter, I promise. I would just like to enjoy working out at the gym and coming home to write in the few meager hours I have alone in single motherhood—without hearing people smack each other and groan for hours. I get that from my kids for crying out loud.

            Our Christmas was the best ever. Okay, let me backtrack a bit. We used to be financially comfy. Lived in the mountains in a cute townhouse, had holidays with a sizable payout, it was

good. This year, I made the suggestion we buy one gift per member of the family. The outcome was so incredible, no matter how much money I ever have that’s the new rule. Why? Because when you can only make a singular purchase, a whole lot more thought goes into the gift. My son purchased me two pair of cozy slippers and my daughter got me a scale, both are things I needed that I will use all year. And I’ve already lost three pounds. My son got a monoscope/telescope and a lava lamp that doubles as a nightlight—he can use them all year too. My daughter got the game of Life and a basketball from her brother (his dad took him shopping) and Cuddles the giggling monkey from me. She’s always liked the computerized toys, but never been especially fond of human dolls. Animals—can’t get enough of those, although it scares me to consider her what her dating life will be. However, it can’t be any wilder than mine.

            Since Cameron gets to spend alternating weekends with his dad, and Nikki is stuck with me all the time, I decided she needs something to keep her focused on school—you know, an incentive. I found it! She loves to ice skate, and I hear her older sister used to be quite good, so I signed her up for lessons. Her first day of class she was literally skating circles around her class and doing those tight little spins. She only fell twice and both times ended with her saying, “That’s cool!” I’m very excited about that and have a goal to do what I can to keep her going.

            Cameron gets to see Dr. Sam tomorrow and isn’t very excited about it—not because Dr. Sam isn’t cordial, he is very easy to talk to, but because he’ll endure five hours of testing. But after that, progress. The sad news is the good doctor gave me an eye-opening book entitled Raising Resilient Children and the information is so rewarding. Last night at Nikki’s skate lesson, I was so enthralled with hearing her every move and emotion, I set it on the trunk to put everything else inside the car, and drove away. I’m sure the pages will be frozen together, but at least it didn’t snow last night. I also irresponsibly left Cameron’s library book The Warrior Heir out, but as luck would have it, we found it at the ice skating rink.

            So here’s the final question to ponder, with all the New Year’s Resolutions of people to work out, shouldn’t that also mean they’re pledging to interact better? There’s a limited supply of equipment and we need to share. Yesterday, this huge guy in a Batman shirt worked out all over the place, sweating on everything without wiping it off. As if that wasn’t enough, his breath was bad enough to flatten The Joker. I noticed when he was on a piece of equipment three feet away. Ugh! I hope his New Year’s Resolution includes losing his bad breath with that weight. Mr. Muscle, in all his positive reinforcement declared he “can’t wait until they’re done swinging their dicks.”

            All in all with my graduation, a new job, and relocating, 2015 promises a positive change in my life. How about yours?

             Thought for the day: If everyone wore fluorescent orange vests like construction workers, joggers, hunters and police officers, would you stand out if you were naked?